Welcome, 2014!

Hi Beautiful People!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hope 2014 will bring so much happiness to our lives.

It’s 00.00, fireworks and lights are beautifully making the night outside my room. I’m here, thinking about everything I’d been through last year. This is going to be a very long post, so I advise you to grab some popcorn and drinks, and then start to read.

2013 was a tough year for me. However, I believe in Yin-Yang. There must be a white in a black and a black in a white. 2013 was hard, but I got much lessons to learn.

On the beginning of 2013, I started my 6 months internship. I started on Ministry of Foreign Affairs, a place where I’d always wanted. I met amazing people, got a lotta knowledge. I kinda liked it, but it was tough. I started to realize that my heart’s not in it. I woke up in the morning not wanting to face the world. Luckily, I have an amazing mother, who supported me every day, saying that I gotta face this, I gotta be strong because I’d just started my journey of the real life. Continuing my internship to Ministry of Tourism and Creative Economy, I met loving people, whom I could talk to the way I was. No fake smiles or fake personalities. I loved it! If I will ever be a civil servant like what my parents have always wanted me to be, I want to serve for this Ministry. I learnt so much from my experiences. I learnt to deal with different people, I learnt how to behave in front of important people, I trained myself to be confident.

Had my first Kpop concert this year. LUNAFLY! They were the first Kpop group I fancy a lot. I attended several amazing concerts like Adam Lambert’s, Demi Lovato’s, Fall Out Boy’s, OneRepublic’s, etc. Also, I got a dream of mine came true. For 14 years, there were nights where I cried myself to sleep, hoping to meet Westlife. They basically shaped me to be who I am today. There were days where people were “you love them that much?! They don’t even know you! Get a life, you’re a freak!”. There were days when I worked hard, hoping that I got to meet Westlife one day. Then they splitted up. My dream was destroyed. But miracle happened. I got a chance to meet, even interviewed Shane Filan. Never in my wildest dream, that I would be talking personally to Westlife. I even met Louis Walsh, the creator of Westilfe and shook hands with him! I thank people who had been supporting me, especially to Kakak Welly who assigned me to do this task. I don’t know how to pay you back. You deserve all the happiness in life, brother!

I am the kind of girl who doesn’t have the courage to express my feeling to someone. Never. When I like someone, I keep it to myself. The reason why I’ve never been in a relationship? I’m scared. Scared to be scattered. I’ve been living in denial. However, there’s this guy I have a crush on since like forever. He accepts me whatever or whoever I am. He understands something about me that others don’t, about me being a hardcore fangirl. He’s the one who says “go meet this band! Go meet that singer! You gotta be crazy! It’s your dream!”, rather than “omg Sheyla, you’re lucky!” like what others said to me. He’s like the male version of me. It’s the first time where I feel accepted for being who I am and it’s the first time someone supports me sincerely, not because he’s my friend, but because he understands. If you know who you are, thank you!

My sister got into university this year. She moved to Bandung. I knew life would be empty without her. I didn’t want her to move. But she gotta pursue her dreams, just like me. I know, we fight sometimes because that’s what siblings do. But all I know is that she’s truly my best friend! It’s scary to see her growing up so fast. When we grow up, I don’t want us to be like some siblings I know: they became strangers to each other. I’ll make sure that when we both grow up she’ll still be my best friend.

Several days ago, I hung out with my high school friends. One of them, my best friend, had told me that he wanted to make a book, and I’d promised to be the first person to read his book and edit his writing. He finally gave his writing to me. There’s a part on his writing that makes me feel so guilty. He’s been through a lot. There were hard times that he gotta face alone. Smoking the green and drinking alcohols were his only escape. I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m sorry for being an ignorant. I’m sorry for being a horrible ‘best’ friend.

Thesis is the biggest thing this year. It’s depressing sometimes, but I’m lucky to have those friends with me. Thanks for those discussion. Thanks for those courage. Thanks for those stupid conversations. Thanks for bearing my weirdness. Thanks for reminding me to keep writing my thesis while I started to get bored. Thanks for those late night knocks on my door with some pizza or “let’s go to McD!”. Thanks for being my medicine in stressful times. Thank you. I can’t wait to see you guys in our graduation suits! You know who you are. I love you guys!

I can’t wait for what 2014 will bring. 2014, ROCK ON!